What Did You Say?

 

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.      Proverbs 12:18 (ESV)

 

Some of our daughter’s first words made me blush and I wasn’t even a Christian. I did not worry about the words I used and certainly there was no concern for what God says about language or the tongue in our home at that point in our lives.

When I heard my foul language come out of her mouth, I knew I had to change my words.

Have you heard about Michelle Carter? She is a 22 year old woman now spending 15 months in jail for encouraging her boyfriend to commit suicide. She was convicted of “Involuntary Manslaughter.”

The evidence used against her was a series of texts between her boyfriend and her.  She was 17 and he was 18. He died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his own pick-up truck in 2014.

The article (https://todaysmama.com/parenting/michelle-carter-conviction-means-kids?fbclid=IwAR3tZIzTjLa7LXBHLBDt1gCKKzS7ivhLUzi_3BzkJv3v7LQN6sWDnakCLpI)  I read said this: “The ruling states that Carter’s ’virtual presence’ at the time of the suicide and the ‘constant pressure’ she had placed on Roy, who was in a delicate mental state, were enough proof for an involuntary manslaughter charge.”

The “constant pressure” had a lot to do with her words in those texts.

I did not hear the evidence and I am not saying the courts are wrong or right. The point to be made is about the words; what words are chosen, how they are used, and the means with which the youth of our culture are expressing themselves. The communication can be dangerous.

Christian kids are not immune from these trends in our culture. The scripture says that we parents are to be diligent in teaching the next generation what His commands are and how to live by them (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Those commands have a lot to say about how we use our words. The fact that the current trend is to type, not speak, those words makes them no less our own words.

God says that we will be judged for every careless word that comes out of our mouths. Do we think that doesn’t include the ones that flow from our fingers through our phones’ text messaging?

The words “intimate texts” lead us to believe that Miss Carter and her boyfriend were not trying to please God with their words. It appears that He was not considered in their relationship.

What about our own kids and grandkids? Are they considering their words as words that will please or displease God? Are we teaching them to build one another up (Ephesians 4:29)? Do they know the power of the tongue (James 3:5-10)?

What example are we setting (for them and others) with our own words? From the language we use to the encouraging or discouraging words we say to others? People are listening. Some of them are young and impressionable.

Every one of us has a sphere of influence that hears and mimics what we say.  Would we be proud of them for using our words or blush with conviction because of our own words?

22 Comments

  1. Melissa Henderson on March 5, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Our words are heard by people we don’t realize are listening. We must be alert and use words that glorify Him. 🙂



  2. Beth on March 5, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    :>) I think you just said in 20 words what it took me over 500 to say! Thanks for reading and commenting!



  3. Candice Brown on March 5, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    As a preschool teacher, I often am privvy to the kind of words used in my students’ homes. Kids not only parrot what they hear, they’re crushed by it. I know I need to curb my sarcasm; thanks for the reminder about taming the tongue.



  4. Julie Loos on March 6, 2019 at 10:22 am

    What a heart-breaking story! Our words do bring life or death!



  5. Lisa Quintana on March 6, 2019 at 10:56 am

    Oh my gosh…. the story of the young man who killed himself spurred on by words texted to him by his “girlfriend” is beyond tragic. I can’t even imagine his parents. My heart breaks for them! So sad that now they must live the rest of their lives with this pain. Oh my.

    This is the impact words have on us. Words have much more power than we understand in today’s culture. We shrug stuff off like it’s no big deal – but it IS a big deal. Going all the way back to the beginning of everything, God creates with WORDS – He speaks LIFE into existence… “SPEAKS” life with what? Words! The lesson in all of this is that we must take our words seriously for they have the power to create things., good or bad. Thank you for this reminder!



  6. Beth on March 6, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Amen, Lisa! I am sorry to realize that I had not really thought about this young man’s family. Tragedy hit that family, for sure! Words do matter. Thank you for making me take it to the next level of sympathy for this family.



  7. Beth on March 6, 2019 at 11:20 am

    Yes, Julie, And I pray we can teach that truth to the next generation!



  8. Beth on March 6, 2019 at 11:22 am

    Oh Candice, I know it can be heartbreaking to learn what children are facing everyday in their homes. May the glory of the Lord begin to fill the earth at a faster pace! I pray your classroom will be a place a refuge and peace for the children God places there.



  9. Debbie on March 6, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    It seems that “words” are getting a lot of attention; as they should. We all use words too often without thought of the impact on others. This includes who has overheard our words and the impact in that way; especially children. Thank you for the reminder!



  10. Yvonne Morgan on March 6, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    I went to an early Ash Wednesday service this morning. I have my cross of ashes on my forehead which certainly identifies me as a child of God. With that symbol available for everyone to see, I really watch my words because I know the world is watching. I wish I was more aware of my words all the time.



  11. Ava on March 7, 2019 at 6:17 am

    This is so true Beth. What we say is being noted by people everyday ans it is so important to say things that we know God approves of foremost. Good thoughts!



  12. Jessica Brodie on March 7, 2019 at 9:24 am

    YES! Becoming a mom was my wake-up call on this topic. So important, truly. We must model for all people what being a Christian looks like (not just our kids), even with “just” our words.



  13. Beth on March 7, 2019 at 10:05 am

    Amen, Jessica, That parenting experience is one big sanctification process!



  14. Beth on March 7, 2019 at 10:06 am

    Yes, Ava, I tremble at the thought of how many times my words have grieved my gracious God!



  15. Beth on March 7, 2019 at 10:09 am

    I hear you Yvonne, How many people know we are Christians everyday and hear what comes out of our mouths? Internal or external – all signs should point to the Lord! Thanks for commenting.



  16. Beth on March 7, 2019 at 10:10 am

    Amen, Debbie, I agree about the children. It makes me shudder sometimes when I hear what parents say in front of their children – or worse, to their children. Oh, that the Lord would hold my tongue (or thumbs) when I should be quiet!



  17. Emily | To Unearth on March 7, 2019 at 10:27 am

    What truth that our words carry more weight than we often realize. Words of affirmation are incredibly important, even if they aren’t your strong point. Thanks for sharing this!



  18. Beth on March 7, 2019 at 11:09 am

    Thanks Emily, Good thought. I agree about words of affirmation but I would also add that words of truth are important and I fear that we (Christians) fear speaking them.



  19. Melissa McLaughlin on March 8, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Wow, Beth. I did not hear this story, but it really brings home your point. Our words can be used like weapons for destruction or like the healing balm of Christ. Oh Lord, please protect my thoughts and words that they may bring glory to You!



  20. Beth on March 8, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    Melissa, Amen to that prayer for you, me and the whole next generation! This is a terrible story but I fear there are many we don’t hear about that come short of the suicide but are bullying or harassing or whatever word they are giving it these days. God help us!



  21. Michelle on March 8, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    It’s amazing when you realize how much power the tongue holds. Even if you don’t mean what you say or you’re joking around, it can still hurt.



  22. Beth on March 8, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    The trouble with those “joking around” comments is that on some level there is usually some truth to it. The truth can hurt and if it is exaggerated or mocked, it is worse. Good point, thanks Michelle.