Reasoning About Self-Control

 

Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.” Acts 24:25

 

A Facebook post suggested that in the U.S. people believe it is more horrific to lose our phones than our virginity.

In another, more personal rant, a Mom was calling out her son’s teacher for sending an announcement home with her Kindergartner rather than directly emailing the parents. She had failed to get notice of something she needed to make until the night before an event. Her son was at risk of not being able to participate. He was rescued when he remembered to tell his mother that he lost the paper.

In a show of compassion for other children whose parents might have missed the announcement, she was sending more than was needed (of whatever she was asked to send) so no child would be deprived of the event.

I completely understand a mother wanting her child to be included in events rather than sitting aside while everyone else gets to enjoy the moment.

But, isn’t this how a child learns self-discipline? No consequences – no change. If a child has to miss an event, she will bring the paper home next time.

The concept of self-discipline seems to be getting lost in our culture, even for adults.

In Acts 24:25 the governor, Felix, dismisses Paul when he starts “reasoning about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come.” This seems to still be happening today. Like Governor Felix, people do not want to be reasoned with on the expectations that God has for His people. We would rather send away the messengers and think as we like. Even confessing Christians work hard at justifying clearly unbiblical behavior, trying to make it OK with God.

God is pretty clear that He is the only Law Giver (Psalm 119).

Young children will learn what we teach them. If we expect self-control, and there are consequences when it is not exercised they will learn it early. It takes years of practice to do it all the time.  If we never expect it from our children, why are we surprised when we don’t see it in adults?

Self-control must be modeled as well as taught. If we are not able to resist staying up on the computer, or watching one more episode of that show, or eating that last piece of cake (right after the next-to-the-last piece), children will learn that behavior. If we can’t see a commercial without buying the product or walk by the vending machines without getting something to eat, or can’t pick up our own dirty laundry off the floor, what are we teaching the next generation?

Our Savior set a high standard for us to follow. True for children; true for adults. We are to be conformed to His image. He was able to resist worldly temptations and do only those things that God had given Him to do. That included talking with His Father, worshiping His Father, and obeying His Father. All. The. Time.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15. ESV) Are we really more concerned about losing our phones than obeying our Savior?

 

 

 

22 Comments

  1. Melissa Henderson on April 16, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Priorities. I pray we remember the importance of accepting the love of our Savior.



  2. Beth on April 16, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Yes, Melissa, Praise God that He is truly the Hound of Heaven who gives grace to all who believe on Him!



  3. Julie Loos on April 18, 2019 at 8:52 am

    A great reminder about our kids watching our self-control! I’m glad that as we grow in faith we can overcome more and more temptations!



  4. Beth on April 18, 2019 at 9:08 am

    Yes Julie, That process of sanctification is on display for those closest to us! Happy Resurrection Day!



  5. Lisa Murray on April 18, 2019 at 10:43 am

    Great post, Beth! I couldn’t agree with you more. You are right, “Self-control must be modeled as well as taught.” Yet we live in a world that tells us to, “do as I say, not as I do.” It gives parents a tough but necessary personal standard to live by as we raise children who are set apart and disciplined. Blessings to you!



  6. Beth on April 18, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Thanks, Lisa! It is a hard thing to be aware of as a parent..but you’re right; “set apart and disciplined” needs to be modeled for them to get it. Have a blessed Resurrection Day!



  7. Jeanne Takenaka on April 18, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, it’s a little convicting when one of my boys calls me on an area where I haven’t exhibited self-control. Even as teens, they’re watching Hubs and me as we live . . . maybe they’re looking for something to criticize, I don’t know. But, I want to live a life that points them to Jesus, and practicing self-control is definitely something that speaks to them.



  8. Ava Pennington on April 18, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Spot on, Beth!



  9. Beth on April 18, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Thank you, Ava! Happy Resurrection Day!



  10. Beth on April 18, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    That is convicting, Jeanne, My husband calls it “self-government,” but the example is for everyone watching.
    Hope you have a blessed Resurrection Day celebration!



  11. Christina Dronen on April 19, 2019 at 1:21 am

    We definitely need some more self-control! That Facebook post is shocking… wow. This cell phone thing is so out of control.

    And you’re right it can’t just be taught, but must be caught!



  12. Beth on April 19, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Christina, Thanks for reading and commenting. It is a good time for me to think about my own self-control as I approach of weekend of too much candy and too many desserts – not to mention watching my tongue when I am in a crowd! Happy Resurrection Day!



  13. Jessica Brodie on April 19, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    Great point. Consequences are very much needed and can be such a tremendous teaching tool. As you say, “Young children will learn what we teach them.”



  14. Beth on April 19, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Thabks Jessica, Hope you have a wonderful Resurrection celebration!



  15. Stephen Lewis on April 20, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    Wow, great message and perfect for hitting us all close to home. Thanks for showing us the big picture and how we need to wake up and turn our focus back on the important thing in life. God Bless



  16. Melinda Viergever Inman on April 20, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    We need self-control. Yes, we do. And so do our children. Kids need to learn that actions have consequences. Life will teach them this, but we give them a great and beneficial beginning when we start them out learning these facts. This is a call to parents to remember the watchful eye of their children upon them, to take those few short years of parenting seriously, for our children’s eyes are upon us. We need this call to recognize these truths.

    However, for parents who press into this, who already run homes of self discipline and rules that are adhered to, it can be easy to slip into rigidity and a system of laws. We can also become prideful and judgmental of those who struggle in this. We can easily forget grace and praise and encouragement. So, I add this gentle reminder for those of us who already toe the line.



  17. Beth on April 20, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Good point, Melinda, Pride or legalism are just as destructive as lack of self-control! I pray this post did come off as prideful. Pride is my greatest temptation. Thanks for the warning.



  18. Beth on April 20, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Thanks Stephen, Happy Resurrection Day!



  19. Afi Pittman on April 21, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    “No consequences – no change”. This is very true. I remember some of the most valuable lessons I learned came when I faced consequences. Tha k you for this. I will be sharing it as well.



  20. Candice Brown on April 21, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    As a teacher and mother, I agree that the concept of self- control has been too often dismissed. In our eagerness to affirm kids, we’re missing out on teaching them self-discipline.



  21. Beth on April 22, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Yes, Candice, We the affirming we are doing these days has overtaken our training of children. Thanks for reading and commenting.



  22. Beth on April 22, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Thank you, Afi, I am glad it was a useful reminder.