Gentleness and Self-control
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)
Paul could write a list!
In Colossians 3 he gave a list of attributes that we should take off and those we must “put on” (Colossians 3:8-9, 12-14 ESV). In Ephesians 4 he gave us a list of those attributes needed to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling” to which we have been called (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV).
He even gave us a list of what he had suffered for Christ in 2 Corinthians 11. 23-28.
Then, in Galatians 5:22-23 he gave us a list of the fruits of the Spirit:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
Most people are very familiar with these verses but not as familiar with the list of the “works of the flesh” in the previous 3 verses:
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21(ESV)
It is hard to understand Paul’s statement that “against the fruits of the Spirit there is no law” until you see that he had given us a list of things that are against the laws of God. Paul illustrates here that God’s Law stands as always.
It is striking to put these two lists together. Today’s Christian is all about love, joy, peace, and kindness. But, when we look at the list of “works of the flesh,” with a little thought, we can see how necessary “gentleness and self-control” become.
All of these directly address our relationships with others. The two lists define how we deal with other people, how we “love our neighbor” (Matthew 22:39 ESV). If we have love, joy, peace, and kindness for some but completely fail at gentleness and self-control, we are not loving our neighbor.
Paul follows these verses with Galatians 5:24-26 (ESV):
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Often, our behaviors do not line up with the lists Paul has given us. As we look at the fruits of the Spirit and understand that God has expectations of us with regard to “gentleness and self-control,” are there things we should be doing differently?
It seems that people are often harsh and uncontrolled rather than gentle and self-controlled with their rebukes and corrections –especially on social media.
Do we trust the Holy Spirit to work in other people or do we believe that if we are not harsh and cold in our corrections that others won’t hear us?
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Hey Beth, This is powerful to put the two lists together. Galatians is one of my favorite books. And this teaching is so needed in the church. Chapter 5 is clear that it is for freedom Christ has set us free. Francis Chan notes that means freedom must be maintained. Or else we end up gratifying the desires of the flesh Paul goes on the mention in the chapter instead of walking in the Spirit. Then we are no longer free, but slaves to our desires. When we look at the list before the fruit, we see why Paul incorporated a “but” to start verse 22 with the fruit of the Spirit.
Don’t we often do that though? We quote Galatians 2:22-23 and forget the context of what came before and what comes after. Thanks for this wonderful word.
Self-control is the fruit ignored in our society. So many, including Christians, want to live life on their own terms. It is my body and I can do whatever I want with it stands as our anthem. Thanks for posting
Yes, Karen, We love to look at what makes us comfortable and ignore that which requires some effort- to keep our freedom. Great point from Chan. Thanks.
Agreed, Yvonne. Sadly this is what we are modeling for the next generation. Thanks for the comment.
Beth, these are great thoughts! Interestingly I’m reading two writers today talking about these same qualities – gentleness and self-control. I love how you set these qualities within their context. It’s so much easier to understand a passage of Scripture when we keep it within the surrounding content. Those contrasting lists certainly do illuminate the qualities on both lists for us. Gentleness and self-control are difficult in this hostile world in which we live. Everyone is talking loudly over the top of everyone else. No on really listens. Responding with gentleness and self-control, or choosing not to respond at all, is often a challenge. It’s required when we choose to not engage by firing back, but rather in continuing to handle the other gently. To do this wisely and rightly, we must rely on the Lord, walking under his guidance, listening to his Words and to our conscience, rather than reacting in the flesh. This is our daily challenge.
You have definitely gotten to the heart of the issue…how to respond in our “quick to respond” world. May the Lord lead us as we walk with Him.
Beth, this is a powerful piece you have written. We definitely need to hear these truths. When we gloss over the warnings in the Bible and focus on all the pleasant verses, we miss the bigger picture. We are sinners desperately in need of a Savior and we are desperately in need of staying close to Him, through His Word and His Spirit, in order to honor Him with our actions and words. Truly when we do this, we demonstrate the beauty of Christ in a most winsome way. But in our own strength, we don’t stand a chance to look or sound like Jesus. Thank you for pointing out the way Paul lined these verses up side by side. It really helped me think more deeply about this passage. Oh Lord help me keep in step with Your Spirit!
Melissa, thanks for the encouragement! I “Amen!” Your prayer that we might stay in step with God’s Spirit. May our desperate needs be fulfilled in Christ, Beth
Thank you Beth – it is fascinating to see these lists of contrasting behaviours drawn side by side. So often in my reading of that versus I focus on the fruits ignoring or downplaying the negatives.
I find the respectful, gentle, controlled approach to life and even to discussions and disagreements with others is more effective. Simply not being “Bad” is not our calling, that calling is to be “Christ-like” and that is both an amazing blessing and a great challenge
Dear Beth!
It’s interesting; we, the Christians, all know what “the work of the flesh” means, and to us it makes sense, but most people today are so misinformed from TV and media that they think life is as we see in television.
BTW I’m a first-timer on your blog, happy to be here.
I often say that what I find most appealing with Christianity is that our focus can never be ourselves as Christians.
With love,
Edna Davidsen
Beth,
I agree, that when it comes to Social Media,Christians often lack self-control and gentleness particularly around political issues—and I used to fall into that trap. We come across as unloving and I can see why unbelieving people are turned off by Christians. Thanks for the reminder of self-control and gentleness in all aspects of life.
I think it’s so important to follow the holy spirit who works in us and not fight back. We must hold our tongue and love others. We must follow the fruits of the spirit and stay away from the fleshly sins. Many people today feel the need to do what feels good, whether in words or deeds. That is not the Christian way.
Welcome, Edna! I agree that TV has been a terrible influence on our culture. Sadly, even as Christians we don’t always seem to nderstand fully that the fruits of the Spirit bring great blessings.
Thanks for reading! Hope you see many blessings as you continue to faithfully serve.
Beth
Self-control. Who has it?! The thing about the fruits of the Spirit is that they all feed into each other–when we don’t have one, it’s much more difficult to have the others. Self-control is something that it seems like most people (myself definitely included) struggle with, and when we lose battles for self-control we stop displaying the other qualities of a Spirit-filled life. Thanks for this post! I appreciated the food for thought!
I read once that the phrase “in the flesh” could be translated as “what comes naturally to us”. I might be able to eek out some gentleness or self-control for awhile, but certainly not consistently without God’s spirit at work in me.
Yes, Luisa, I am afraid that people feel like they can say anything on Social media without consequence. There are consequences we don’t see. Thanks for commenting. Blessings, Beth
Thanks Bob. Your response reminds me of Colossians 3 and the attributes we are to “take off.” But Paul doesn’t leave us there, he tells us what to put on to replace the “bad” ones.
Thanks for reminding how consistent the gospel is!
Beth
The Holy Spirit is surely a gift! I often ask Him to help me hold my tongue when I should be quiet and loosen it when I am to speak. He is faithful!
Thanks for the comment, Beth
Great point, Brianna, Thank God for His patience with us as we make every effort to add these fruits to our lives! Thanks for the comment, Beth
I am sure you are right, Susan. Without the Holy Spirit what comes naturally out of our hearts…and our mouths, is not loving or kind or gentle!
I appreciate your comment, Beth