Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

Do you wonder (worry?) about what is coming for Christians in our culture? As the animosity towards us increases we look for places of refuge where we can be encouraged in our faith.

Home should be a haven. Our congregations should be a place of refreshment and encouragement.

Sadly, many Christians are living with some antagonistic divisions in their lives that make going home like entering a battle zone and going to church is discouraging, either because the message isn’t biblical or there is tension among the people. (Sometimes the first one causes the second one.)

It would appear that those who hate Christianity in our nation do not want to understand our faith, just to turn other unbelievers against us. This is one reason to get our homes and our congregations reconciled so we can have places of support and encouragement to continue to grow in understanding of God’s Word and to fight the good fight.

It can be intimidating to be the one to bring up a hard issue with a spouse, a pastor, or a friend. But, the longer the words go unsaid the deeper the divide becomes between the people.

We often want to start with an accusation. This puts the other person on the defensive. Starting with an “I” statement is usually more productive. “I felt hurt (angry, betrayed, lied to) when you….” said or did whatever it was that they said or did. Even a question is better than an accusation. (“How did you mean it when you said…?”)

There are several reasons to do this from a scriptural perspective and several ways to approach it for the best result.

First, the scripture tells us to “get the log out of our own eye” before we go to someone else. This requires some self-examination but should bring about a more fruitful conversation because our pride will be put in its proper place.

Second, a humble and personal statement or a question offer an entryway for the other person to explain themselves if we have it wrong (which is a real possibility that we must humbly accept).

Third, God blesses obedience and we are clearly told not to let issues with brothers and sisters in the Lord (the ones in our biological families as well as those in our church families) to fester.

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: Hebrews 12:14

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:17-18)

Fourth, things rarely (if ever) get better in silence. The fact that Jesus is the Light of the world reminds us that Satan has greater access to things left in the darkness of silence than he does to those that are brought to Light. He is a liar and a deceiver. What we believe about a situation that has not been confronted may be distorted or completely false. We have a responsibility to deal with the truth and not what we believe or have been told by a third party. “The truth will set you free.”

Are our homes and our congregations safe havens and places of refuge? Is there a conversation that needs to be opened so that the truth of the matter can be revealed?

This is important for us personally and emotionally. But, it’s also important for the work of God. These broken relationships may represent sin that separates us from God’s hearing our prayers (Isaiah 59:1-2). They may be so emotional and have been nursed for so long that doing the work of raising the next generation or evangelism in the community is too much for us as the anger or resentment lie at the surface ready to explode in unbridled words.

In our culture God’s Word is being reviled, babies murdered, and perversions of all that is righteous and good are being taught to our nation’s next generation.  We need to have people and places that will build us up spiritually so that we can withstand whatever the Lord might bring on a nation that has strayed as far away from Him and His Word as we have.

Pray. Approach the person, take a witness if necessary. Find the strength to say what needs to be said (Psalm 28:7). Then, we can be the one who encourages and builds up those facing the wrath of a nation of people who have turned their backs on Jesus Christ.

So, say it now. It will only get worse if we don’t.