Handling an Annoying Person

 

People can be so annoying. We hear or see them say or do things that are sinful or just plain unwise and we wonder how to respond. Do we have a responsibility? Do we have jurisdiction? Do we have to know them well to speak up? Or, in some cases do we have enough experience with the person to know that it won’t matter if we speak up about it or not? They will continue to be annoying in their prideful insistence that they are right. Or, maybe in my prideful insistence, I am wrong!

When the annoyance happens there are three verses to consider. One is from Ecclesiastes that tells us there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent (Ecclesiastes 3:7). We may need to pray in the moment if it is not clear which way to go. Sometimes our flesh is so strong that the silence only comes with a literal biting of the tongue.

The second verse is from Colossians 3, “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth” (Colossians 3:8).

The third verse that applies is the Christian’s responsibility to admonish from 2 Thessalonians 3:15, “Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.”

The verses are all helpful because first we have to decide whether it is a time to speak or a time to remain silent. Again, ask in prayer and the Lord will direct. Especially if we are dealing with a brother or sister in the Lord, we have to know whether there is actual sin or just our own sensibilities feeling tread upon. If there is no sin then silence is the answer unless the annoying behavior is from someone close enough that they need to know that their behavior is annoying to you or me.

Colossians 3:8 is important because if we decide that silence is the way to respond, we have to also see that we cannot go and talk about it to others in ways that display anger, wrath, or slander. In fact, later in this passage (Colossians 3:13) we are told to bear with one another and to forgive those we have a complaint against.

Even if we decide it is a time to speak, we must obey Colossians 3:8. No anger, wrath, malice, slander, or filthy language should be used to express our concerns.

As God frequently does in His Word, He doesn’t just tell us what not to do. Still in Colossians 3, verse 12, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

“Tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, and forgiving” are not the usual words we apply to human interactions with annoying behavior. But, it is what God asks of us and will bring a better outcome if we have to speak.

One last thing to consider, living in this imperfect human body and mind, is that we will also from time to time be the annoying one. “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12).