Nice or Right?

 

Headline: School policy forbids kids from saying ‘no’ when asked to dance

“We do ask all students to dance. It is the nice thing to do and this will continue to be our policy,” This is a quote from a middle school principal in Utah.

Can you imagine the long term implications of not being allowed to say no to someone who asks you to do dance at the sixth grade dance?

The article is about the mother of a sixth grade girl in Utah who is taking up the battle to correct a school rule about dancing with whoever would choose to ask you. https://www.today.com/parents/sixth-grader-utah-couldn-t-say-no-when-asked-dance-t174793

The daughter came home from the day at school that included the dance (the problem starts there) and had what her mother calls “an emotional explosion” because a boy who makes her uncomfortable had asked her to dance. She was overheard – and corrected for – saying no.

The Bible does not command us to be “nice.” It commands us to be strong and courageous. This is not just for boys/men. This little girl (at 6th grade you are a little girl even if the public schools think you are old enough for a school dance) had the discernment and courage to say no to a boy who “makes her uncomfortable.”

This principle had a teaching moment with the boy to try to understand why he was making someone uncomfortable. Rather, he chose to ignore the feelings of the girl and told her to “go out and dance” with the boy.

There can be many reasons one child would feel uncomfortable with another child. It may or may not be something we have to “protect” someone from. Nevertheless, we must respect the decision (discernment) if one child is uncomfortable with another.

If you’re not allowed to say “no” then it’s not “asking” for a dance – it’s a demand.  In our “Me, too” generation it is hard to understand why anyone would suggest to a girl that it is not ok to say “no” to a boy who wants to dance. A lot of dancing includes touching. The statistics say that by the 6th grade many of these boys will have been introduced to pornography. Some may want to act on what they have seen and the school is saying a girl must agree to the dance?

Would this include a same sex request to dance? If a parent sends a child to a dance, the girl should have a say in who she dances with – as should the boy.

The article suggests other concerns:

  • Why do sixth graders need a dance?
  • Why force all students to dance?
  • What about teaching respect for consent (in any situation)?

Being strong and courageous means having a “yes” and a “”no” and letting them be what we say. We must teach young Christians to have the courage to take a stand and stick to it. They need to be taught to make prayerful and wise (discerning) decisions regarding those they interact with or befriend.

In my day, if you said “yes” to a dance, you were indicating an interest in the boy. Even if no one says that is the message being conveyed today, it is the message the kids “hear” when asked to dance or when the request is accepted.

What will be the next thing they “have” to say yes to?

Christians, this is another reason to get your kids out of the public school. They are far more concerned about the “nice thing to do” than they are about the right thing to do.