Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

In a previous position of employment, if someone asked my husband what he does at work, he would say, “My job is to make other people’s jobs easier.” When I would ask how his day had gone when he got home, he would occasionally say, “Today, my interruptions got interrupted.” Being the helper isn’t always easy.

In my own mind when I read Genesis 2:18 where the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him,” what I hear is that my job is to be my husband’s helper. My job from the Lord is to make his job easier. “Easier” is not necessarily “easy.”

Even when we look at the Proverbs 31 woman, her husband’s success was partly because of the role she played at keeping the home and family businesses going so he could do his work “at the gate.”  (See Proverbs 31:10, 11, 23, 28).

I grew up as an unbeliever in a world that was influenced by feministic thinking. I can hear the screams of rejection of this “helper” concept. It is even understandable when the husband of a family is in front of the TV most of the time, is chronically unemployed, or prefers video games over family. Because an action (or lack of it) is understandable does not mean it’s right.

In a godly family where both parents are committed to the Lord,  to taking dominion, and raising their children to love and serve the Lord, an understanding of our roles as helpers has the potential to make a huge difference in how things get done.

This is not simply the concept of traditional roles but true “help” as a man attempts to work, serve the Lord, love his neighbor, and boldly proclaim the truth of the scriptures as opportunities arise. Maybe a wife is exercising her dominion at home, maybe she is helping with the physical labor that keeps a house in good shape, earning some money for the family, or perhaps she is playing a support role for the works he is doing for the Lord through the local assembly of believers.

Every couple has to figure out what “helper” looks like for them. Would the men do more if the women did more? Again, I know some women are already working hard and not seeing any reciprocity. Maybe we have to ask if we’re doing so much that we have sent the message that our men are “not essential” to the health of the family. If so, is that helpful?

There are many female traits, not exclusively, but in things like nurturing and compassion, in which women tend to have more sensitive eyes to see where it is needed. In most couples it seems that our gifting complements each other; I am glad that my husband is willing to do the taxes and fix a leaky roof.

Being a “helper” to our husbands is not a lesser role as so many believe. It is a role ordained by God when He brought women into the world. We can trust God to give us positions that are good for us and for loving our neighbors (which include the husbands and family He gives us) or we can do things our way and watch as the family continues its downward spiral in a culture where the women are more influenced by the feminist movement than we are by the Word of God.

What is so bad about making someone else’s work easier? Wouldn’t that be helpful to everyone in our sphere of influence?